"The New TSA" Sung to the Tune of the Village Peoples' "YMCA"
Drop outs, there’s no need to feel down.
I said, drop outs, pick yourselves off the ground.
I said, dropouts, cause you're in a new town
There's a way to be so happy
Losers, there’s a place you can go.
I said, losers, where you’ll make some good dough
You can work there, and I'm sure you will find
many funny ways to kill the time
It's fun to work for the new TSA
It's fun to work for the new TSA
They have many things that you’re sure to enjoy
You can photograph all the boys...
It's fun to work for the new TSA
It's fun to work for the new TSA
You can look at folks nude, and occasionally steal
You can even cop a feel...
Numbskulls, are you listening to me?
I said, numbskulls what do you want to be?
I said, numbskulls you should pack up your trunk
So you can go insult somebody’s junk
No one’s really safe any more
That chick? She’s probably just a whore,
Granny is sitting in her wheelchair
Dump her out what do you care?
It's fun to work for the new TSA
It's fun to work for the new TSA
They have lots of things that you can enjoy,
You might even find sex toys
It's fun to work for the new TSA
It's fun to work for the new TSA
You can radiate folks and make their skin start to peel
You can do whatever you feel...
Loser, I was once just like you
No job and I was getting the blues
No one cared about me at all
I felt up against a great big wall
That's when Uncle Sam came to me,
And said, loser, take a walk up the street.
There's a place there called NEW TSA
You can start to work there right away
It's fun to work for the new TSA
It's fun to work for the new TSA
They have everything pedophiles would enjoy
You can touch some of those boys...
It’s fun to work at the new TSA
It’s fun to work at the new TSA…
(more songs here)
I said, drop outs, pick yourselves off the ground.
I said, dropouts, cause you're in a new town
There's a way to be so happy
Losers, there’s a place you can go.
I said, losers, where you’ll make some good dough
You can work there, and I'm sure you will find
many funny ways to kill the time
It's fun to work for the new TSA
It's fun to work for the new TSA
They have many things that you’re sure to enjoy
You can photograph all the boys...
It's fun to work for the new TSA
It's fun to work for the new TSA
You can look at folks nude, and occasionally steal
You can even cop a feel...
Numbskulls, are you listening to me?
I said, numbskulls what do you want to be?
I said, numbskulls you should pack up your trunk
So you can go insult somebody’s junk
No one’s really safe any more
That chick? She’s probably just a whore,
Granny is sitting in her wheelchair
Dump her out what do you care?
It's fun to work for the new TSA
It's fun to work for the new TSA
They have lots of things that you can enjoy,
You might even find sex toys
It's fun to work for the new TSA
It's fun to work for the new TSA
You can radiate folks and make their skin start to peel
You can do whatever you feel...
Loser, I was once just like you
No job and I was getting the blues
No one cared about me at all
I felt up against a great big wall
That's when Uncle Sam came to me,
And said, loser, take a walk up the street.
There's a place there called NEW TSA
You can start to work there right away
It's fun to work for the new TSA
It's fun to work for the new TSA
They have everything pedophiles would enjoy
You can touch some of those boys...
It’s fun to work at the new TSA
It’s fun to work at the new TSA…
(Sung by Rep. Weiner) "Oh Lord I Want to Photograph My Wood" Sung to the tune of "Please Don't Let me Be Misunderstood"
June 2, 2011 at 10:05pm
Apologies to Nina Simone, The Animals, and the Easily Offended
Baby, do you understand me now?
Sometimes I feel a little tense
Dontcha you know that no Congressman is ever an angel
When things go wrong, I feel so bad
I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh, Lord I want to photograph my wood
Sometimes, I am so carefree and joyous
With a member that’s hard to hide
Other times it seems that all I ever am is horny
Then you’re bound to see my raunchy side
But, I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh, Lord please let me photograph my wood
Baby, if I seem edgy I want you to know
That I never meant to take it out for you
I have my problems and I can’t get my share
But this one thing I didn’t want to do
I'm just a soul who tries hard to be good
Baby, can you photograph my wood?
Oooh, oooh baby I’m only human
I have these thoughts just like Brett Favre
Sometimes I feel so long, but always regretting
There’s no one here to share my giant schlong
But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh, Lord I know that I must photograph my wood
Yes, I need discretion and I know that I should
Avoid Tweeting folks about my giant wood
Baby, do you understand me now?
Sometimes I feel a little tense
Dontcha you know that no Congressman is ever an angel
When things go wrong, I feel so bad
I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh, Lord I want to photograph my wood
Sometimes, I am so carefree and joyous
With a member that’s hard to hide
Other times it seems that all I ever am is horny
Then you’re bound to see my raunchy side
But, I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh, Lord please let me photograph my wood
Baby, if I seem edgy I want you to know
That I never meant to take it out for you
I have my problems and I can’t get my share
But this one thing I didn’t want to do
I'm just a soul who tries hard to be good
Baby, can you photograph my wood?
Oooh, oooh baby I’m only human
I have these thoughts just like Brett Favre
Sometimes I feel so long, but always regretting
There’s no one here to share my giant schlong
But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh, Lord I know that I must photograph my wood
Yes, I need discretion and I know that I should
Avoid Tweeting folks about my giant wood
(more songs here)
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